Mein Leben - My Life

Ouch some people say my blog is demoralizing. What the bloody fuck? It’s my blog you tweet ass... Ok but point noted I will improve my entry in the future… *whisper* fuckers..

ANYWAY.. I arrived Singapore last Saturday morning, apparently alive. The plane didn’t crash whatsoever. BUT... my plane was delayed for 2 hours. Singapore Airlines got delayed? What fuck? I arrived at the airport around 6pm to get my passport and visa cancelled. Traffic jam was horrible. My luggage weighs almost 50+kg. So my colleague decided that I should wait for my 3 directors to reach the airport and hopefully can share the load? You know my mind start going wild. What me flying with directors? That is so scary… So my directors reached and my luggage was placed in the Business class. I was hoping that I could be place in the Business Class too but oh well.. I guess hopefully my luggage got excellent service in the Business Class cargo hold. I check in quickly because I really hate goodbye hugs and so on. I think it’s not necessary. My friends wanted to give hugs which I really dislike so I quickly check in through the gates. I think goodbyes are only done in funerals and besides I hate those talks or wishes like ‘Take Care’, ‘See You’, ‘Study Hard’ blah blah.. you know those wishes (though I give those wishes to my friends too but only on cards… oh I hate cards so don’t give me one, I don’t mind sending one though) So anyway, I took my time walking around the Duty Free shop just to avoid my directors, don’t ask me why I avoid them, it’s not like they got plague or something but I just don’t like to mix around with people with authority, it seems my life is constricted just being around with them.

So I bought few Dubai T-Shirts for my father. He told me to get one as souvenir. I got him not 1 but 3 pairs of shirts. I’m such a bloody good son. So when it was 10 minutes before departure I went to the holding area. The moment I step into the holding area, its simply like stepping into Singapore Embassy. You see old aunties and uncles with their fucking Kiasu attitude. So embarrassing, I don’t mind being a Chinaman just for that moment. These idiots queue up obediently at the door which is a good thing but that’s not the point, I will tell you later on. So I just find an empty sit and read my book. It’s almost 8pm. The plane a Boeing 777-300 arrived from Cairo has already arrived about an hour earlier. An announcement came moments later that the plane would be delayed due to technical fault. Somehow I felt happy that finally I gonna die in a plane crash. I prayed so hard for it days beforehand. You know if you die in a plane crash, it would be a fast, painful and as the plane race towards the ground, the feeling is exactly the same as roller coaster going down the track. That’s how scary it is. On top of that, my family could claim thousands if not millions from SIA and also my name would appear on the Obituary for sure specially thanks to the Government and SIA. So 1 hour gone and you know what I still cant find my directors, I bet they are in the lounge, lucky them. At 9pm further announcement was made that the plane is gonna be delayed again. The kiasu Singaporeans whom I’m mentioned earlier started to make compulsive groaning and moaning whichever you like.

“DELAY AGAIN? I’M GOING TO COMPLAIN TO THE AUTHORITY!!”
“SIA NEVER DELAY PLANES OK, SEND ANOTHER PLANE!!!”
“WAH THIS IS BAD SERVICE MAN!!!”
Etc;

Those are the comments I heard from them, it’s embarrassing, that is why I don’t mind being a Chinaman just for that day even though Chinaman always spit but who cares. I got so bored I actually counted the number of passengers. There were about 230+ passengers that night including 14 cabin crews consists of 2 pilots, 4 male cabin crews and 8 female cabin crews.

So finally at by 9.30pm (still no sign of my Directors) we board the plane, as I walked through the aerobridge I saw the Mechanics fixing the wheel of the plane, my assumption was that the plane probably had a flat wheel (hey planes get flat wheels too ya know!!!) or either it had run over a ramp agent. I was hoping that the engines or the ailerons would have some damaged so that in the middle of the flight, something goes hay-wire and the plane would crash.The cabin crews on that flight look fake (SIA cabin crews always look fake and that includes my sister too). They either put too much make up or too much Botox. The pilot made apologies about the delay because apparently the plane had problem with the gears, the brake malfunctioned or something. I got my window seat, I like window seat even though I know I would have difficulty of getting out of the seat to go to the restroom. The plane taxi to the runaway and as the plane was just about to rotate for take-off the pilot decided to cancel the take-off due to the fact the plane which just land ahead of us (apparently a Russian plane Tupolev 154) has not taxied out of the runaway and its blocking the runaway and another plane is about to land behind us. So the bloody pilot has to quickly clear the plane or else the plane will land on top of us and we would explode. YAY!!!~! DIE KABBOOMM… Our plane has to get out of the runaway so the pilot instead of taking-off decided to exit the runaway and make it for another try. Bloody hell, I don’t mind delayed as long I got killed but not this. So passengers start to groan and moan again. Means another 15 minutes wasted just to taxi to the end of the runaway again. By now it’s already 10.00pm and I’m still not getting out of Dubai. I bet my friends who bid farewell to me earlier are already at home or out watching movie at Deira Shopping Mall. Bloody hell they didn’t know I’m still bloody stuck in the plane. So we finally took almost at 10.30pm.

For dinner, I ordered special meal, a Seafood meal, which ain’t so bad it consists of Salmon steak in some weird creamy sauce, salads with huge prawns, squid, cute little oysters and crab meat. I think there was a few strip of abalone but I can’t figure out what was it. Good meal I would say and for dessert I had ice-cream.

Watch two movies, a Korean movie – My Tutor Friend and a Japanese movie forgot what it was. We went through the normal turbulence where the ride got bumpy just as we were about to fly over India. It must a welcoming sign that we are about to fly over India. Must be the Indian thing, too much curry thus flatulence occurs which causes air turbulence. Still the plane didn’t crash bloody hell. 4 more hours to go, hopefully something horrible happens. When I woke up, we are already flying over Penang, damn still no sign of crashing 1hr 30mins before we touchdown, breakfast was served, and the choice was limited only bloody muffins or scone, bloodyhell Emirates serve better food. We touch down almost at 9.00am instead of 7.00am. As the plane breaks, I still pray hard the plane would skid and ran out of runaway because the plane had a technical problem with the wheel brakes earlier. So I arrived safely in Singapore, my mum and my best friend was there waiting for me. The first thing my friend asked was “EH MY SHEESHA NO MORE TOBACCO, DID YOU BUY ANY TOBACCO FOR ME?” I don’t know whether to slap or to stab this guy, either way it will cause much pain to him. Apparently I didn’t buy any so too bad…

So anyway fast forward abit…

On Sunday my best friend Weiliang and I went to Suntec City for no other good reason than to walk around like we always do. While walking around CityLink both of us had stomachache and we really need to clear our bowels. So we went to Marina Square to do our Detoxication or rather to shit, so we went to the Gents and when we enter the cubicle to our HORROR THE TOILET SEAT IS NOT UP TO OUR COMFORT LEVEL!!~!~ You know most toilets seats they always have a wide rim so that when your bloody ass sits on sit it gets a full support and thus it feels comfortable. But this bloody toilet had a narrow rim which means if you sit on it, our nice poshy ass would not get a full support thus not comfortable. So no choice, we make a quick decision but to run back to Raffles City, find a toilet with a comfortable toilet seat even though we just came from Raffles City). So we ran with our might full of enthusiasm, pride and joy just to squirm our shit out as soon as possible. I can feel the brown thing peeping through my anus, dangling like those plastic balls hanging from a Christmas tree, swaying with the wind. Oh well cut the crap.. Anyway we went up to the 3rd floor at Raffles City and find our comfy toilet seat. Man it was heaven once we’ve done our business. After we’ve wiped our ass clean, make sure there is no skidmarks, we head back to Marina Square once again before we head off to Suntec City.

Fast forward again…

My brother would be reaching Singapore from Kenya this coming Friday, BLOODYHELL. THAT IS LIKE TWO MONTHS EARLIER THAN ORIGINALLY PLANNED. OH FUCK IT.!~~! Apparently he is going to run for the Standard Charted Marathon during the weekend. Bloody fuck, I not sure what other vulgarities to use to utter my dismay. All I can say is just fuck it. And he still got the bloody cheek to say if I want to go to Orchard Road to accompany him buy stuffs. ME? GOING OUT WITH MY BROTHER IN THE MIDDLE OF ORCHARD ROAD? Going out with my brother is like going out with my mother in law (well if I have one that is) or worst people might thought we are gay couple which seems normal in Singapore nowadays. But either way it’s a horrible thing but oh well what can I do? He knows I’m very free nowadays. Bleah…

Fast forward again…

Ok in less than 24 hours, I would be checking in myself to National University Hospital which would be my Shangrila for the next 3 – 4 days for my first session of chemotherapy. Earlier today I had a check up with my doctors and they say that my bone marrow is not affected apparently only my neck is affected, so its not so bad. The doctor asked me when I would be ready to do my first chemo session. If I have choice I would prefer next week, so that I can enjoy my weekend but I know my mad-nuts in the brain brother would prefer if I would to start it ASAP. So I told her I would start the next day which is Friday morning. She said good and she would prepare all the documentation. The doctor told me I would only have 2 cycles of chemotherapy or perhaps 3 instead of 12 cycles which I had previously. And then I would have a bone marrow transplant which is actually not an operation at all but rather a minor insertion of tube to extract and harvest my bone marrow, clean it and they would put inside me again. So I thought it’s not going to be so bad after all I’ve went through 3 bone marrow sessions before which the first session was horrible. I remember the doctor Mark de Souza who happened to be my brother’s friend is such a bloody bastard because he drilled through my bone at the hip with no local anesthesia except for the painkillers. I could feel drill going through my bone and he tugs it off real hard like as if he is plucking my teeth out. And of cos me being a bastard, screamed throughout the entire procedure, it was embarrassing cause it was done in the ward itself not the operating theatre, patients around me thought that I was given a good fuck by the doctor. After that incident I promised that I would never eating Sup Tulang or Mutton Bone Soup or gnawed any chicken bones.

So anyway, I got a dilemma here. I would be staying in the hospital for few days, so I wonder what I should bring or do. I wonder if could wank on the bed? What happens if God decided to take my life away after wanking? Or what happens if I stain the bed after wanking? What happens if a pretty nurse decides to wipe my ass or poke my ass? Should I act horny? Should I be shy? Or I should I tell her to fuck and that I could do it myself? Can I bring my laptop to the hospital? I’m worried that if I brought along my laptop, the patient next to me would get heart attack by electrocution or something if I turn my laptop on. Cause you know when you board the plane, there is this safety regulation where you cannot turn on your mobile devices, laptop, discman etc; while the plane is taking off or landing so I suppose it applies to hospitals too. Isn’t that scary? A patient dies in hospital while watching porn on his laptop. I even told my parents just to put me inside the cheapest ward which is Class C or something because previously when I was in ward B2 there was only like 4 patients? It wasn’t scary but it’s just that it was boring to see only 4 patients. At least in Class C there would be more patients like 6 or 8 people though slightly noisier. I don’t mind as long the place is lively. Besides the medicine and the food is still the same, bland food, horrible but colorful pills. The only difference is the level of privacy and on top of that you have to pay more for the medicine like a Class A patient would have to pay S$10 for a Paracetamol but a Class C patient would only have to pay S$1 just for the same Paracetamol. What is the logic of having to pay different price for the same tablet? And HOPEFULLY and I REALLY HOPE that my brother would not apply as a surgeon in the same hospital where I’m having my treatment. He is not so bad actually just that he is such a nag ever since I had cancer. Nag nonstop. He need to suck tits or something.

Oh well this my super long entry for this month. Will update once I get out of the bloody hospital..

P.S: Please don’t come empty handed if you’re visiting me, I don’t want cards or any food. I’m not having a picnic at my bedside. Just bring something for me to read or trade in for cash. Hahaha AM I THICK SKINNED or what?. If your name is Lum Weiliang or Scott Lee Weiming PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY ORANGES FROM MY DRAWER. I’M THE PATIENT NOT YOU!!~@~ OH PLEASE DO NOT BRING WATERMELONS OR HONEYDEWS. I REMEMBER SOMEONE BROUGHT ME WATERMELONS AND HONEYDEWS, THANKS FOR IT BUT I REALLY DON’T HAVE A CLEAVER TO CUT IT. PLEASE BE REMINDED IT’S A HOSPITAL, WE ARE NOT HAVING A FRUIT GALORE SESSION.

Cheers.. =)