I heart public transport...

Was a reading a friend’s blog. She says that her father has never taken a public transport before except for taxis in his entire life before? Isn’t that sad? Some people are too filthy rich that they can’t bring themselves down like a normal commoner. Now tell me, what is so disgusting and tough going around in public transport? I think public transport is a marvellous thing to get around. It’s cheap… well ok not getting any cheaper as years goes by but still cheaper than driving for sure.

Well of cause cheap things usually doesn’t come with extra perks right? You have to stand with dozens of other passengers, wait for the bus under the hot sun or under the torrential-horrible rain. Worst if there are ugly passengers amongst the crowd and most probably I would be the victim but you see that’s the fun part. I can’t stand driving in a car most of the time alone and talking to myself and hearing to the radio. Even if there are friends in the car, it would be always the same bunch of people. Unlike on the bus, there would be probably around 30 odd passengers whom you’ve never met. Chances of you meeting a familiar face is pretty slim and even if you did, it would be someone whom you’ve never met for a very long time. That’s the wonderful thing of taking a public transport.

I’ve got a habit whenever I take the public transport. I like to scrutinise and stare at people and then imagine what I would do with them. Like if I see an old man digging nose, I would imagine that I would sit on his head and fart him silly and force him to dig his nose with his toes. If I see lady with voluptuous breast, I would imagine using my cloth pin and squeeze those nipples or fondling with them. And if I see kids running around in the train cabin, I would imagine having them as my own kid and smack them silly. Sometimes I would even imagine having an orgy if there are a couple of good looking people on the train. So you see, having many people around me keeps me entertained. Oh hell yeah sometimes I do my own catwalk cum modelling show in the bus. Like whenever the bus picks up passengers from a bus stop, the passengers would walk down the aisle. Then I would pretend they are doing a catwalk and I would actually rate them usually out of 10. Aunties usually would get 2/10. Pretty ladies who strut and sashay with the right pose gets 9/10. Pretty ladies who strut and sashay with the right pose but never give up their seat to the needy will still get 9/10. Hell yeah I know life is unfair. Cute hunks will get 9/10. Cute hunks with a whiney voice will get 4/10. Babies will always get 10/10 but if they cry they will get 1/10.

So now tell me? Who the hell hates public transport if you can create and imagine loads of things just from looking at other passengers? The kaleidoscope of life happening right in front of you, its way better than reality show. I can even do a short movie clip about my life journey on board the train from Choa Chu Kang to Orchard. I have a script scribbled somewhere at the back of my mind but I will have tough time digging it out.

I think my friend’s father is such a sore loser … well in a way. He should taste and enjoy the fruits of his labour in the form of taxes which he pays yearly to built the world best public transportation. I can imagine dumping my friend’s father at Tampines Bus Interchange and dare him to take any bus to find his way home in Teck Whye. I think he would be cringing in disgust to lay his damn expensive shoes on the steps of the bus and to hold on the bus pole. He would probably flip out his handkerchief, lay it on the seat and sit on it. What a total moron. He would probably die in the bus if he sees any old man digging his nose and then grabbing the pole cause just moments ago he just hold on to the same pole. And I would probably dig my nose too and wipe on the dead body.

So move on to another story…

I took the train from Jurong East to Choa Chu Kang with Hans just now. And something unusual happened or rather it didn’t occurred to me before. I think the train driver is someone who has been rejected by airline companies to be a pilot. He made this announcement just before the train left the station…

“Dear passengers welcome on board SMRT. This train will terminate at Marina Bay. For your own safety please hold on to the grab poles. On behalf of SMRT, I thanked you for choosing SMRT. Have a pleasant journey. Thank you and have a nice day”

Well it goes something like that. Usually we only hear the automated female from the PA system who makes such announcement and most of the time we don’t really give a fuck about it. To hear such announcement from a live human being gives that warm touch but I think the driver is overdoing it. The PA system would do the same announcement he made earlier. It’s not like as if the train would go any faster. Now tell me, how many of you actually bothered to hear to the security announcement which they announced regularly on the PA system? I don’t. Cause its so repetitive that I just shut it out from my senses. Ok I know this is an oxymoron comment since I said earlier that public transport is a good thing. I wonder why SMRT and SBS bothers to install expensive Samsung plasma panel on train station and inside the train showing security announcements. Couldn’t they just put a poster of it at the advertising panels? They should telecast live news preferably from Channel News Asia or better still CNN on those expensive plasma panels. At least its more informative to us passengers on the current news around the world then reminding us every 5 minutes to be more vigilant with terrorist and such. Posters would do just fine. Enough of campaigns already. PLEASEEEEE I feel like as if I’m in a communist state where propaganda plays a major role. Don’t you feel the same?