Final Goodbye...

Daniel and I went to Ian’s funeral wake in the afternoon. Saw familiar faces amongst the visitors. Dr. Khoo and Dr. De Souza was there too and few other staff nurses.

It’s funny how I found the wake rather peaceful and I kinda ‘enjoy’ it somehow even though I’m supposed to mourn for a friend. I kinda like the lilies around the place. Tomorrow is the cremation. I really wished I had spent more time with Ian. Visiting him more often when he was hospitalized. Somehow I really wish I’ve got another day to spent time with him.

To Ian,

I don’t know how I should put this. When I first saw you, I immediately knew what’s going through your mind. The thought of getting well and surviving all these ordeals. I wasn’t a great friend and a ward mate even though we are just side by side for quite sometime. You always took the initiative to start our conversations which then sometimes seems to last for forever. No matter how tired and sick I am, I seem to enjoy our conversations infact I can’t wait for dawn to appear so that we could just talk all day like as if these ordeals didn’t happened.

It’s nice how you could smile while going through this. But I know that smile. I have that smile too. Behind every smile there is a grief. And I know when you are alone, you weep silently. I do that too. I know every single tear that you shed is for the frustration, angst, pain and everything else which you’re going through. But one thing for sure is that, I will always remember your enthusiasm and encouragement. You’re always looking forward to the future. Making plans and things to achieved. I really wish you could do just that.

I wish I know what to say or do just so that I can get another single day with you.

God Bless You

I asked God to bless you

As I prayed for you today

To guide you and protect you

As you go along your way....

His love is always with you

His promises are true,

And when we give Him all our cares

We know He will see us through

So when the road you're traveling on

Seems difficult at best

Just remember

I'm here praying

To ask God to do the rest.

Rest in Peace Ian Lam

Sigh =(